Sunday, 21 February 2010

Gotta do more, Gotta be more

For those not in the know, the title is from a poem one of the characters in the film Dead Poet's Society reads (and possibly is supposed to have written???). The character in question is Charlie, who is later referred to as Nuwanda.

But I didn't just write this blog as an homage to my favourite tear-jerker of all time.

I'm writing because I'm frustrated. I'm a struggling writer. The only way I know how to get my frustration out is to put it down on paper, or in this case, out into cyberspace, and send it off to fade away. Good riddance to bad rubbish and whatnot.

So you may have noticed that last year, I didn't actually get anything creative published. I entered a lot of stuff, but I didn't actually win any prizes, and a lot of the time, I didn't even come close to placing. So I'm sitting here thinking, What happened to me? In 2008, I won a few prizes for my work, I have at least three certificates on my wall for what I wrote that year. Am I getting worse, or is the rest of the world just getting more competitive?

It looks like 2010 is going to be a year of similiar disappointment. Although the email that I had today from dotdotdash magazine does indicate that I was very close to being put in the magazine, so perhaps I am not so much in a tailspin. I'm still waiting on feedback from that. I guess from a writerly perspective, it's just been a bad week. I mean, I found out that I wasn't going to be included in an anthology I was being considered for by reading through a long list of the people who were in search of my own name. It's disheartening. But I just have to work harder.

I've got to do more writing. I've got to be more of a writer. This is not a game anymore.

This is my career.

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